My daughter surprised me recently…
She picked up my camera, and took pictures of me. Finally at the *other* end of the camera, the object of focus, I felt so loved. It really touched my heart. I’m not used to someone focusing on me… and I don’t say that in a way that demands sympathy. I LOVE being the caretaker… I LOVE being the support behind my family. I love watching my husband shine at work, my kids dance gloriously through life… I cherish it and nothing fulfills me more.
But having my daughter focus the lens on me, hearing the camera snapping away, being the one captured for a moment in time… I felt so touched and so loved. It, quite literally, surprised me and took my breath away.
And the result… they are my favorite pictures of myself I’ve ever seen. Ever. It was the end of a long day, the sun was going down… the yellow light filled my already yellow house… the glow was magical.
My make-up was non-existent. My hair was ratty. My shirt was smeared with flour (I was in the middle of making calzones and cheesecake for my family for dinner) and my glasses were on all afternoon, so my nose had those *divots* they get from the bridge of the frame.
But you know what? I felt beautiful, on the inside, from being the unexpected recipient of my daughter’s attention. I feel like these pictures capture the *me* that my kids see every day. The raw me, the me that might not have brushed my teeth today, but that loves my kids with a fierceness that is palpable.
We were just about to wash Mini Guinea in the sink (yes, I stopped making dinner to wash a guinea pig in a sink, because Clara asked and damn I love that girl!)
I did a little happy dance holding the pig, and Clara grabbed the camera.
See for yourself. I look regular, every day, plain… and with smile lines all around my eyes, which I really wanted to take out of the photo, but I didn’t. Because I also look like a mommy who loves the girl behind the camera. And those smile lines are how my kids see me every day, as I smile at their beautiful faces. And I look content. And happy. And fulfilled. And that’s because I am with my family… home… in my favorite place on earth… and holding my favorite type of animal is pretty great too.
I feel like in these pictures I look like *Mommy* — and I love it.
I don’t look like I used to, the 20-something young woman I still *think* I should look like. And I don’t look fancy. And I don’t look professional, or even pulled together. But I look like a Mommy who would hold her child at a moments notice… a Mommy who would drop everything, even cheesecake, to wash a guinea pig with her daughter.
And I couldn’t ever ask for anything more then to have a moment like this, captured on film forever, by my very own daughter. Damn I’m a lucky one. xoxo